No matter what you desire to create, the path is always the same. Resonate with having and you get; resonate with not having and you don't get (at least not getting exactly what you asked for). If you observe yourself feeling or thinking any of the following, then it's a good bet that you are resonating with not having:

- Feeling anxious
- Feeling nervous
- Worrying of any kind
- Fretting over details
- Fearing that it won't come on time
- Fearing that it won't come at all
- Wondering when it will come
- Wondering IF it will come
- Questioning whether or not you deserve it
- Fearing what will happen if it doesn't come
- Freaking out about the consequences of not having it
- Feeling panicky, depressed or fearful
- Feeling tired, exhausted or frustrated

But the most important questions is: What do I do when I find myself caught in any of these undesirable habits of thought? Here are some tips to transform that situation:

1) Recognize that you are indulging in negative chatter and acknowledge that this is merely an old, worn out habit that just needs to be transformed. If you can catch yourself in the act, then all the better. Don't beat yourself up for thinking negatively. You weren't born thinking negatively, you were just taught to do that and no one ever taught you how to think positively, so you have a habit of thinking negatively. No big deal. You've transformed other undesirable habits in your life, haven't you? This is no different. So get busy focusing on how to transform it. Besides, thinking about that which you don't want (thinking negatively) is powerless to give you that which you do want. The only thing that can give you what you want is focusing on having what you want.

2) Find a replacement habit. If you don't want to think negatively, then what do you want? Most likely, to think positively, so that's an easy one. Create an Appreciation Journal. Write about any new things you've found to appreciate or about exciting miracles that happened or about neat and heartwarming things which have touched your heart. Anytime you catch yourself thinking negatively, just whip out your Appreciation Journal and reread the entries you've made. That should pivot your thoughts quickly and easily. And while you're at it, add a few new entries to your journal. Of course, any other replacement habit will do as long as it promotes health and well-being.

3) Take the time to identify the deeper need lying behind the thoughts. For instance, thinking negatively often carries a deeper fear of feeling unlovable or feeling not good enough or feeling afraid of being rejected for making a mistake or any number of self-diminishing or self-doubting thoughts. Ask yourself why you feel or believe that and why you believe that to be true. For instance, if you feel that you are not good enough, then why not? What facts have you gathered to prove that you are not good enough? And does everyone in the entire world think you are not good enough? And so what if you are not good enough to please SOME people? Who cares about what those people think, anyway, because if they are so judgmental and critical, then I don't think I'd care to have them in my life anyway, do you? Have you ever been good enough? And who said you were? And what does it really mean to be good enough? Good enough for what? What are you prevented from doing or being if you are considered not good enough? And who started this distorted and fearful game of accusing people of not being good enough? And how must we change our way of looking at ourselves and others to be able to reverse these habits of telling other people that they are not good enough or believing that we, ourselves, are not good enough? How do people who feel they are good enough think, feel, speak and behave? What values and ideas do they believe in? What would it take for me to feel like I was good enough? Get the idea?

4) Be determined and persistent. Thinking negatively about self is a habit of thought and focus, which was taught to us by those people within our early environment (i.e. parents, siblings, teachers, etc.) and which has been around for eons, unknowingly being passed from generation to generation. Why is that? Because people don't tend to question the validity, desirability and worth of beliefs they hold. Breaking any undesirable habit requires that you be diligent in catching yourself in action doing the undesirable behavior (i.e. putting yourself down) and replacing that old habit with a new habit (i.e. appreciating all that you have and are). Build up your determination by creating a list of reasons why you want to transform the undesirable habit, listing everything you will gain and the benefits you will receive, to be used in those moments of weakness when the old habit is tempting you.

5) Lighten up on yourself. This is no big deal. So what if you found a bad habit in your repertoire of behaviors? Isn't it great that you've found it and can now transform it? Aren't you glad you didn't have to live with that habit for another 5 years or so? Aren't you excited about revealing and transforming yet another layer of distorted beliefs that have been clogging up your happiness? Doesn't it feel great each time you catch yourself in an old pattern because you know that each discovery brings you closer to revealing and expressing your core?

Carol James may be contacted at http://www.inspiredliving.com carol@inspiredliving.com. Click here to view more of their articles.
Carol James, founder of Inspired Living, L.L.C., has been a small business owner since 1985. Visit her www.inspiredliving.com web site, which includes an extensive library of educational, informational, motivational and inspirational articles, stories, tidbits, a discussion list and resource links.