Awareness
By Sheri Bardo
"Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in
awareness." -- James Thurber
"Like a fish suddenly made aware that it is swimming in water, I
found every aspect of my perception changed." Author Unknown
How many of us live in a state of real awareness? Most of us are aware
of outward feelings. We to often go about our lives never going much
deeper than what we see and feel on the surface. We are aware that we feel
anger at someone or something, or that we have a worry or fear of some
coming event or circumstance. But how many of us live in the awareness and
understanding of where that anger, worry or fear really comes from. How
many of us really go deep enough to be present enough and in touch enough
with our emotions to understand what makes us act and react the way that
we do?
Websters Dictionary defines awareness as: on ones guard, vigilant,
knowing or realizing, conscious or informed. To be aware implies having a
knowledge of something through alertness in observing or in interpreting
what one sees, hears, feels, etc. Consciousness implies awareness of a
sensation, feeling, fact or condition etc. and recognition or focusing of
attention on
To be consciously aware of what is really causing us to act and react
the way we do takes a willingness to explore the inner self and discover
the inner beliefs that are causing us to feel and act the way we do in a
present situation. It takes a willingness to be “aware” on a deeper
level. For years, I struggled with finances and feelings of lack. I felt I
was a victim of outside circumstances. In my business endeavors I would
progress well, then something would happen, something seemingly beyond my
control. As I began going deeper on a quest to discover who I really was,
I learned that I was sabotaging my own financial success and prosperity. I
sat in meditation one morning asking myself why. When I had need of things
and especialy if I had a desire why was there that catch in my heart that
just couldn’t believe it would be provided or that I had what it takes
to succeed beyond the ordinary. Suddenly a picture appeared in my mind of
me at 21/2 when my mother died. It was sudden and unexpected, a blood clot
to her heart. When it happened, I was kept separated from the procedures,
the grieving, the funeral, and life with my father for some time
afterward. I was sent to my grandparents while my father sorted through
his life. I realized I had formed a belief that I was somehow responsible
for my mothers death. This belief told me if I had been better she
wouldn’t have left me and my father wouldn’t have sent me away to my
grandparents when I need him. These beliefs of course were not true, but
with my limited experience of life and knowledge, I came to believe them.
Without even realizing it I had formed a belief that I was not worthy
of the best, worthy to have what I really wanted because I was bad, or my
dad would have wanted me with him. When I returned home 3 months later
from my grandparents, my dad had a new wife I felt I had been replaced. My
Father never was emotionally available to me as I grew up and died a few
years ago without us ever having been close. I formed a belief that my
needs were not important. To add to my mis-beliefs, in my early years , my
½ brother, who was 12 years older victimized me, and I formed the belief
that no one could be trusted. My stepmother was demanding, at times
critical, manipulative and guilt producing. I formed the beliefs that I
was not good enough, that I was an outsider, that love had to be earned
and was conditional , and that it was assumed that I would do the wrong
thing, and I saw myself as guilty. My parents, not able to accept me for
who I was because of who they wanted me to be, and needed me to be, gave
me a false perception of myself which I came to believe.
I share this with you not to bemoan my past, for my past is now what
makes me strong. I do not tell you to bring condemnation on my parents,
for they were doing the best they could with the beliefs they had formed
as children about themselves and life. I share this to help you see how
naturally we form false beliefs about ourselves as children and how we
carry them into our adult life. Once I made the connection to these
beliefs, my financial picture began to change. My business shot forward
with new energy and creativity, in fact my whole vision and dream took on
new dimension and solidity. I realized I could have what I dreamed for,
and that it was OK. I now know how to dream, how to hope, I have vision. I
no longer see myself as a victim of life, I take full responsibility for
myself, and those old beliefs. I see life as an adventure, a series of
lessons, not meant for my harm but for my growth. I am amazed daily at the
newness of live that comes from a fresh perspective.
You too can change your life. It begins by discovering false beliefs
and letting the light of truth shine in. Darkness has no place in the
light. Darkness always disappears when the light appears. Our old false
beliefs bring darkness into our life. Shining the light of truth and
reality on them dispels the darkness. Choose to become AWARE of your false
beliefs. Set yourself free to be all you were meant to be. Sheri Bardo/Domino
Ranch
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